If we can have Homer Simpson, on the ballot is it a bit of a stretch to have Peter Griffin on as well? Perhaps a bit, as Peter is more of a fan of sports than an actual participant….except for that stretch where he played for the New England Patriots as an expert blocker for Tom Brady; that was until he scored a touchdown and orchestrated the greatest touchdown dance of all time, thus angering the star Quarterback and was traded across the Atlantic to the London Silly Nannies, where his new teammates lived up to their team name. Maybe this entry is a stretch, but more people probably saw that episode of Family Guy than many of the sports themes cable shows that we have listed.



The Bullet Points:
TV Show Appeared:
Family Guy (1999-2002 & 2005-)

Actor:
Seth MacFarlane

Played for:
New England Patriots/London Silly Nannies

Position Played:
Center

Why you should vote for him:
Does the constant fights with the chicken count as bare knuckle boxing?

Why you should not vote for him:
Does a cartoon character qualify?

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With the rise to prominence of Scottish born, Andy Murray in the tennis ranks, the idea of Wimbledon, a 2004 film where a journeyman Englishman wins the most prestigious tournament in Tennis doesn’t seem as special. Actually, there is not a whole lot special about the movie which isv“Chick Flick 101” set in a Tennis backdrop, but we do like Paul Bettany’s portrayal of the “never was” Peter Colt, and his unlikely rise at the sport’s grandest stage. Of course, Bettany is a British actor so that automatically makes a film better….and yes we DID make that generalization.



The Bullet Points:
Movie Appeared:
Wimbledon (2004)

Actor:
Paul Bettany

Why you should vote for him:
This is probably the best representative of Tennis.

Why you should not vote for him:
The above statement really isn’t a selling point.

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When you think of Charles Aznavour, you think one of the most popular French (and frankly world) singers of all time, and his subtle charisma. Of course, when you curate the Fictitious Athlete Hall of Fame, you remember him as an aging Soviet Bloc long distance runner, and the character we cheered for in “The Games”. Run Pavel, Run!



The Bullet Points:
Movie Appeared:
The Games (1970)

Actor:
Charles Aznavour

Ran for:
Czechoslovakia

Why you should vote for him:
We thought he was the most likable character from “The Games”, and he had a great run…in his mid-40’s.

Why you should not vote for him:
He didn’t win did he?

There was a fifteen year period where Clint Eastwood was about as high you could get in movie royalty and fans would watch his movies regardless of the premise. As long as you got to see Clint beat someone up or shoot some people, generally you were happy.

Eastwood was not known as a comedic actor, but one of his most successful characters was the bareknuckle boxer, Philo Beddoe in the two Comedy/Action films, “Every Which Way but Loose” and “Any Which Way You Can”. His sidekick was an orangutan (yes an orangutan) and he ran afoul of a motorcycle gang and the police usually with comedic results. Of course, any Eastwood fan wants to see him beat people up, which he does, and when he does lose, it is because he did the job on purpose. You have to remember, Clint Eastwood only loses, of he wants to!

Here is our issue with these films, and it isn’t the orangutan. It is Sondra Locke, the woman who stank up many Eastwood films in this period. What he saw in this mousy looking bad actress is beyond us, but Clint could have (and should have!) done so much better. Maybe Eastwood and Paul McCartney share the same puke colored glasses when they look at women.



The Bullet Points:
Movie Appeared:
Every Which Way But Loose (1978)
Any Which Way You Can (1980)

Actor:
Clint Eastwood

Why you should vote for him:
For many, Clint Eastwood is a movie god.

Why you should not vote for him:
His best friend was an orangutan.

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